The Best Cakes in Portsmouth! (or How I stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Cake)

By Ola Gutkowska

In the modern times of the unquestionable reign of avocado and kale, where ice-cream is made of a mix of almond and soya milk and you’re not even surprised to find out that the sticky toffee in your pudding was replaced by not-so-sticky tofu in that one last place that you thought of as decent…it’s a fine time to turn ourselves back to our good, old friends that cured our lonely hearts, nursed our miserable souls and nurtured our impatient stomachs. Let’s go back to CAKES!

In Portsmouth you can easily make up for lost time. Below, you will find a few of my favourite places that every respectable cake admirer should visit to indulge in the Portsmouth Cake Experience.

The order is not coincidental, but I assure you that all of these places, no matter if they are first or last in the rank, will definitely leave you drooling over the memory of visiting it.

 

 


 

  1. Baffled Coffee and their Brownie Brownie (it’s really chocolatey)

Baffled Coffee is a humble, little place, somewhere in the middle of Fawcett Road in Southsea. Amazing staff (my international friend works there, I can vouch for her) and cosy, hipster furniture.

If you miss your dog, this is the place for you, as it is beloved by dog owners who frequently come there for a cuppa with their four legged friends. Don’t forget the brownie!

  1. Southsea Beach Café and freshly baked Scioche with strawberry jam and delightfully thick clotted cream.

You may have already figured out where this place is. If not, that means you definitely have a sugar deficit.

You can’t say no to a Scioche (scone + brioche), a modern twist on a scone – a traditional treat served with an afternoon tea, served with jam and cream.

Raisin alert: dear raisin intolerance sufferers, unfortunately scones often do contain raisins, but that didn’t stop me enjoying them, and Scioche are really worth all the effort of digging the intruders out!

  1. The Canteen and His All Mighty Joyfulness Banana Bread.

Located in The Hot Walls in Old Portsmouth, this modest but surprisingly cosy café with a view of the sea made me consider asking if they could adopt me and I will just eat their leftovers.

After all, is there anything more fulfilling in life than fluffy, house-baked banana bread consumed while staring at the mesmerising waves and considering the matters of flour and sugar?

Just do it.

  1. Tenth Hole and Everything They Have Ever Baked and Will Bake

That was actually my number one – just before I have discovered The One That Beat It.

Anyway, Tenth Hole, located next to the golf pitch (don’t worry about that, you don’t have to go through the other nine holes first) is Cake Heaven.

Big, chunky slices and lots of layers of pure joy. Since visiting them for the first time, my life ambition is now trying every single cake variety from Tenth Hole.

  1. Bread Addiction and their Truly Addictive Tonka Bean Chocolate Mousse Cake.

Tonka Bean is my personal discovery of the year. And it rhymes with Wonka. Like Willy Wonka, chocolate factory, you remember that, right?

Ok, I might not end up being the best poet, but Tonka Bean Chocolate Mouse is the finest piece of culinary poetry. It smiles to you from the very first moment you enter this bakery on Albert Road in Southsea.

I do like bread, but this place should be rebranded. Tonka Bean Addiction, that what is it for me!

 

P.S. If by any chance this text got to your heart and stomach, please do not hesitate to share your favorite cakes discoveries with me.